Masaje yo, por favor?

It means massage me, please?
My shoulders are in pain now...
When I reached home, the first thing I did was entering dad's room and then weighed my 2 bags that I carry to college every Monday and Tuesday.
The backpack weighs about 3kg and the other hand-carry bag (which I carry on my right shoulder) weighs about 2kg.
This means I carry 1.5kg on my left and 3.5kg on my right.
Poor me, isn't it?
No wonder I'm becoming like the notre dame.

Someone please massage my shoulders now...
Preferably a masseur. (I didn't know masseur means a man who gives massage. I don't meant I don't know what it means, I just don't know the word meant for man only.)
Preferably Rooney, please?
My shoulders are aching.... *pouts*

I shall drool my footies to cure the ache.