Im a sucker for guilt

My family and I had a ceremony in grandpa's graveyard yesterday and any stuffs I wasn't allowed to get involved in are not applicable to me already.

I can attend my friends' bday celebration later, but urm...don't feel like going coz well, the not-allowed thingy is just over and I feel bad for going to the party.
Moreover, my grandma already prepare for dinner, and...
Apparently mum is going out later, not that I don't like or anything...
Just that, I'm feeling guilty to leave grandma at home, not that she's gonna be alone at home, but...
And on the other hand, I won't say no to going out and have fun with friends..
I have a plan of going shopping with friend some day this week, and also planning to have a night out with friends on christmas eve.
I think I won't feel guilty if I only go out at night, after my grandma goes to sleep, you know...
It's weird to tell my bff bout my guilt trip, coz I don't make sense, do I?

Sigh~
I really don't know...
After my grandpa passed away, grandma is feeling lonely, coz when he was around, even nobody at home, grandma still got grandpa...
But now, even my uncle has cut down his usual outings...I mean he used to go out a lot when grandpa was still around...
He told me that now he can't...

What would happen when I start to work?
The chances of me working late is pretty high...

And there's one thing bugging my mind besides guiltness
One that I don't know if it's safe to say here...
Sigh~ I'll just have to say it to my bff.....

Two new famous words - Unconditionally & Irrevocably

I believe when you mention those two words, people will think of Twilight,
Or maybe just Twilight fans that will thought of it, and then smile to themselves
LOL that's me.

I think I can tell myself that I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Twilight Saga books, movies and songs.
Hahahaha

For two nights, I listened to Clair de Luna's Debussy and fell asleep with my earphones still plugged in my ears. (No, it's not because of bored -.-)
I love Twilight's songs because they are really soothing and they calm my mind, and help me to relax my body.
You should try listening during night time, especially after you're back from work and you're tired and stuff.

Honestly I could never imagined Robert Pattinson's voice is like that when he sings.
Never Think and Let Me Sign got Rob's trademark. Always start with acoustic guitar solo, and then his singing style. Really unique.
Too bad, he did not record the full version of Let Me Sign.

Anyway, my point of this blog is not the above.
I... I'm afraid to read Eclipse.
Maybe coz I know once I read, I'm gonna finish in a day and then it will left one more installment.
I'll look pretty scary once I start to read the first page of the book, coz I won't be able to stop.
It'll be just like Edward started to suck out the venom from Bella, he'll get frenzy.
Heh, I'm quoting word from Twillight - frenzy.

Have I told you I watch Twilight repetitively for the past week?
Urm, alright, nevermind.

That is why I am distracting myself by cleaning my room, throwing away bulky table cabinet and replacing with a new and proper bookshelf to store my novels, and...of course my Twilight box set.

Hahahahaha....

By the way, I haven't forgotten bout football.
It's still in my blood, although currently my blood is mix with vampire's already.
LOL
Anyway, sleeping late at night has always been a habit to me. So probably it shows that I got potential to be a vampire, just that...to reach to the stage where I don't have to sleep AT ALL, hahahaha......hmmm......
I'm human, afterall.